Category: Writing

You know, there’s something sexy about the title “freelance writer.” At least once a month at the writing site I frequent, someone will post the “how do I get started in freelancing” question.

 

Goodness knows I’ve thought about it. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind. These thoughts are usually accompanied by images of sun-drenched mornings pecking away at copy while sipping a latte at the local coffee shop, or soaking up the quiet atmosphere at the library while researching salient facts.

 

This, however, is not the reality.

 

I bring this up because I’m writing an article for the Wet Noodle Posse ezine. Actually, I’m supposed to be doing many things, such as judging a writing contest, oh, and a little task called revisions, but never mind.

 

I came up with the idea for the article. I know what I want to write about. I have notes. Even so, I had a major case of: mind, screen, both are blank.

 

Because when you get right down to it, writing articles feels like homework.

 

For the longest time, I never thought I was a writer; I never embraced the 500-word essay on my summer vacation, or even the topic of my choice.

 

The topic of my choice would be: I choose not to write this.

 

I have no problem with technical writing. I can tell people to chmod 777 all day long. But I can’t tell people how to make five fun crafts for under fifty bucks. In fact, just writing that sentence caused several synapses to misfire.

 

Ironically, the topic of my article is: making the most of online writing classes.

 

My favorite line so far (which will probably be cut): What if they gave a writing class and nobody came?

 

Indeed.

 

I’ll leave you to ponder that.

I found this over at Marianne’s this morning:

Your Inner Muse is Melpomene

You are most like this muse of tragedy.While you aren’t depressed, you don’t shy away from sadness.Although you do tend to be gloomy, you have a sensitive side.And this sensitive side helps inspire and help others.

What Muse Are You?

I’m gloomy. Nice. Real nice. Although the whole muse thing is appropriate, since we have a running muse joke in Geek Girl’s Guide.

Here are some things I did this week, all in the name of revision.

• Looked into Krispy Kremes. Did you know they now have multigrain Krispy Kremes. Cuz you know, when I’m reaching for a Krispy Kreme, I’m thinking heart healthy.

• Couldn’t remember how to spell L-tryptophan, so I Googled sleepy turkey chemical.

• Looked up The Art of War and Sun Tzu.

• Looked up Lara Croft and Tomb Raider (although this reference I may cut).

• Sent Darcy lolcat inspired notes such as: IM in yr scene, makin’ changes.

Because we needed a visual:

The hotdish, she has an advocate.

For those of you who haven’t been playing along at home–and for those who have, I can be cryptic–I’ve been referring to a “secret” project, code name: hotdish, pretty much all summer long.

And now, I can tell all.

Okay, not really. I can tell some.

The hotdish is actually a revision of The Geek Girl’s Guide to Cheerleading, a book I wrote, revised, and nearly shelved.

It was clear from agent feedback I received earlier this year, that for the book to be marketable, it needed to be in first person. I was ready to shelve it. According to Darcy, all it needed was a little gloss and glitter, and could she give it a shot putting it into first person.  

She did all the grunt work of putting it into first person. To make a long story short, I went back through for a final edit, and after getting over the initial weirdness of my story in a different voice, something magical happened.

It wasn’t my story. It wasn’t Darcy’s. Somehow, we’d managed to capture Bethany’s story. When I read it now, I don’t know what she wrote and what I wrote anymore.  

And really, it’s been our book all along. She urged me to write it in the first place. She read the craptacular first draft (and it was beyond craptacular), offered advice, a shoulder to cry on, and all the rest. That we’re now writing partners makes total sense.

 

Yesterday, we received an email from a NYC agent wanting to represent the book. At some point, I’m sure I’ll shout her name from the rooftops, but for now, I’m being discreet. We need to do some revisions. This is only one step in the entire process, although, admittedly, it is a pretty big step.

 

I posted to the Noodler email loop that I was weirdly calm. I am. Sort of. Of course, at lunch, I tried to eat my salad with a spoon. And I’m both calm and jittery, like I’m regretting chasing that venti latte with a Red Bull.

 

I’ll post more on our query stats later this week, because they’re interesting (well, if you’re a writer, they might be). But for now, I’m brainstorming new spicies (Kyra’s word for spices) for the hotdish.

Sometimes it takes writing to figure out what you are writing about and then you must go back and start all over again.

My instructor for the children’s writing class said this the other day (I’m paraphrasing slightly).

I have a friend (no, this isn’t me in the guise of friend–for real) who claims to hate writing “under the burden of previously written scenes.” This person is a good writer (but look at how deftly I avoid revealing gender). But I’ve never seen this person (more gender-avoiding waltzing) do more than a rough draft of a novel. In a strange paradox, this person hates “wasted scenes” but has walked away from (by my count) four novels.

Oh, and I’m not talking about anyone who reads this blog. If you thought “That’s me!”

You. Thought. Wrong.

But I’ve been thinking about this. My instructor referred to it as impatience. When you write, it simply doesn’t all come at once. I suppose it could, for some people. I know my brain can only handle so much at a time. When I started the revisions for my current project, I was all about voice. So much so, I forgot about structure. Structure flew out the window, ran down the street, and I’m still calling her name, trying to get her back.

Actually, this week, I’m all about structure. You might say the Hard-looking, Eye-looking is courtin’ structure.

Let’s hope she’ll want to be my steady gal.

I found Leslie’s Haiku Buckaroo Contest! via Jen. I wrote these a while back, but you know, there just isn’t a market for tech writer haiku. I can’t imagine why.

 

Technical Writer Haiku

 

 Code cutoff, rejoice
But wait! It will not install
Tears drench your keyboard

 * * * 

There will be changes
Content, timeframe, uncertain
Revisions endless 

* * * 

New program feature
Two Subject Matter Experts
The delay is long 

* * * 

Release tomorrow
“We forgot to tell you . . .”
Endless night of words 

* * * 

Documentation
Seven hundred pages
A tech writer weeps