In which Van Halen (almost) makes me drive into the garbage can

First, let me tell you about the best thirteen dollars I’ve ever spent.

For Christmas, I bought Andrew a stand for his electric guitar. I don’t know what it is about having it out and perched on its stand, but he plays it all the time now. Maybe pulling the guitar from its case is simply too arduous, or it’s merely a case of out of sight, out of mind.

Guitar stand = best impulse gift idea ever.

Plus, guitar on stand looks really cool in our living room (yes, the living room; we’re informal, at best). I keep expecting Mick Jagger, Ric Ocasek, or Billie Joe Armstrong (pick your era—or in my case, it’s all three) to stroll in at any moment because the guitar looks so awesomely cool just sitting there.

I can hardly stand it.

Anyway, Andrew is a real classic rock kind of kid. He knows the opening to Smoke on the Water, and Sunshine of Your Love. Naturally, once he learns Stairway to Heaven, the trifecta will be complete.

So given this, it wasn’t all that strange when, on the way back from guitar lessons, the conversation turned to Van Halen.

Andrew: Mom, do you know this Van Halen song? It goes Na na na na Na Na.
Me: Is it Jump? Na, Na na na na na Na Na na na na.
Andrew: No, that isn’t it.
Me: Panama? Na na na Na na na na na na
Andrew (sighing): It doesn’t sound like that at all. It’s Na na na na Na Na.

I ran through my (admittedly) limited repertoire of Van Halen songs (and is it really a Van Halen song when they were fronted by Sammy Hagar? Or was David Lee Roth the worst thing to happen to Van Halen. Discuss on your own.).

Me (trying again): Well, can you remember any words?
Andrew: Actually, I’ve never heard a Van Halen song.
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were in the driveway at this point, and OMG, y’all, I nearly drove into the garbage can.

Me (after a deep breath): Why are we having this conversation?
Andrew (after a giggle): Long, convoluted explanation involving a rerun episode of My Name is Earl.
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew: And Mom, you really don’t know how to Na na na a song.
Me: I’m revoking your TV privileges.