Tag Archives: Martha Stuart I’m not

Martha Stewart, Snoop Dog, Mary Richards, and me

Bloganuary: How do you show love?

These final week prompts are getting a little personal.

I don’t know how true this is, but the first thing that came to mind was I do things for the people I love.

But not big things.

I’d be terrible at throwing someone a surprise party. Sure, I’d be able to keep it a secret. But, if you’re of an age, you may remember The Mary Tyler Moore Show. You may remember Mary Richards and her inability to throw a party.

I make Mary Richards look like Martha Stewart. I’m assuming Martha can throw a party.

People, wait. Wait. I just Googled Martha Stewart and discovered she had a reality show with Snoop Dog called Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party. How did I miss this? Okay, I’m going with yes. Yes, Martha (and Snoop) can definitely throw a party.

Anyway, we’ve established I’m not throwing a party for anyone. (And really, how can you compete with Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party?) But everyday things? Like making someone a cup of tea or finding their lost keys? That’s totally me.

In fact, if you’ve lost your keys, give me a call.

I might be able to find them—along with your missing homework assignment, the jazz shoes you need for dance class (the black, not the tan), and your favorite T-shirt.

However, if it’s a party you want, you’ll need to consult Martha and Snoop.

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The secret ingredient revealed

So this weekend-yesterday, actually-I baked banana bread and chocolate chip cookies. From scratch! I know. I’ll wait while the rest of you pick yourself up off the floor.

Actually, I like baking, as long as it’s not too complicated. Meals I’m pretty meh about. I mean, all that work, and it’s gone within thirty minutes, except for the mess. With baking, you can enjoy your efforts for at least twenty four hours or so, give or take.

Also, I cleared the clutter reorganized the kitchen, which makes it nice to bake in these days.

Miss B was all excited to help me bake cookies. Ever since I baked oatmeal raisin cookies with Andrew (a recipe from his Family and Consumer Science class), she wanted to bake her own cookies.

I was telling her something my mom told me about baking chocolate chip cookies-because cookies, along with 80s pop music, is cross-generational. Instead of butter, use shortening for better texture.

Miss B: What’s shortening?
Me: It’s fat.

A bit later, Bob wandered through and Miss B exclaimed:

Daddy! I know the secret to Mommy’s cookies and I’m not telling anyone at school. It’s a secret recipe and it’s FAT!

Now, doesn’t that sound appealing? I suppose I should be relieved she’s not telling her entire school that the secret ingredient is fat.

Here’s my whole point to this baking and cooking thing: why go all Martha Stuart when you can make your offspring ecstatically happy with a bag of Nestlé’s toll house morsels?

And fat. Don’t want to forget the secret ingredient.


Filed under Cooking (disasters), Kids