Editing the one inch picture frame

So, as many of you know, I lost my mind on Wednesday evening and had my kids toss my manuscript into the air. Not only did this provide them with loads of fun, but this way of editing?

I have much love for it.

Not that it’s 100% easy or anything. Injecting tension, sharpening prose, micro-editing. But the thing is: all you have is that one page. It’s the editing equivalent of Anne Lamott’s one inch picture frame for draft writing.

This isn’t the sort of editing I’d do for plot continuity, character arc, story flow, and so on. But it is one of those edits I need to do. The fact the pages are in no particular order means I start each page fresh. It’s just me, the page, and my trusty Uni-ball Vision Elite pink pen. (The kids agreed; this would be the pink edit. Purple’s up next.)

And sure, there are 345 pages in this current version of my manuscript. But hey, all I have to worry about is one at a time.

Wow. I should take him up on that

From the SPAM files, too funny not to share.

I am Mr. Wang Hongzhang, Chief Disciplinary Officer, People’s Bank of China (PBC).I have an obscured business proposal of US$24.5million for you.
Please reach me promptly if interested.
Kind Regards,
Wang Hongzhang

One question: What is a Chief Disciplinary Officer, and what, pray tell, does a CDO (like the acronym?) do?

Oh, wait. According to Google, he exists. And you know Google is never wrong. So if he exists, and this email exists, then woo-baby, hand over the 24.5 million. Obscured or not.

The strange things we do on a Wednesday evening

Andrew and Kyra first tried to catch a rabbit. Do you see a rabbit? Because I don’t.

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Andrew was frustrated with Kyra’s lack of understanding of his (mostly confusing) hand and arm signals. Then we came inside and tossed my manuscript in the air. No. Really. We did.

Here’s proof:

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Even the dog helped:

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Don’t you wish this was your manuscript?

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There is actually a reason behind all the insanity. It’s an exercise from Donald Maass’ Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook. Tension on every page. The only way, according to Mr. Maass, to edit every page for tension is to do it out of order. I have no reason to doubt this. If nothing else, the kids had fun tossing the manuscript into the air.

White Easter

So, the Easter Bunny woke up yesterday to snow! Yes, we had a white Easter. It was looking very Christmassy outside. But we had colorful eggs to counteract all that pristine white:

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The kids went to town with the wax crayon. Andrew wrote his name on one of the eggs; Kyra wrote Mommy. She also wrote Boo on another (why, I don’t know). Andrew wrote E=MC2 on yet another (again, I don’t know why). You see 11 eggs because one cracked during boiling. (Just one! I think that counts as a cooking non-disaster as far as I’m concerned.)

On Friday, we surprised the kids with a little getaway. There’s a hotel with a mini-water park (really, it’s just two small pools, some slides, and so on) that they have much love for. We stared there once when the power went out for a couple of days.

Anyway, we told them we were going out to eat. Bob took the kids while I stayed back and packed their swim stuff and an overnight bag. We ate dinner at the restaurant next to the hotel. Andrew, Mr. Theatrics, was all: “Oh, I can smell the chlorine. It smells so good. Please can we get a room and go swimming?”

“Oh, no, no, no. Easter weekend, I’m sure they don’t have any rooms.”

And so on with the dramatics and denials.

We left the restaurant, then drove around to where our room was. The kids were bouncing, not quite sure what was going on. We still didn’t say anything, just grabbed the bags, headed up the stairs, and into our room.

Then they got it.

So even though it snowed all weekend long, a good, if exhausting, time was had by all.

Stuff that

So, I ran to the store this afternoon to do a little survival grocery shopping. I left Kyra by my computer desk, quite happily working on one of her paper projects. Give her a ream of my computer paper, crayons, scissors, and some tape, and she’ll go to town. In fact, I’ve said, “Wow, B, you’re going to town,” so many times, that now, she’ll glance up while working and ask: “Mommy, am I going to town?”

She’s made her own toolbox and tools out of paper, a paper baby and a paper baby carrier (along with rattle, bottle, and so on). I wasn’t sure exactly what she was after this time, but it looked cute. However, between the time I left for the grocery store and returned home, there was a meltdown of epic proportions.

Apparently, she was trying to make a paper stuffed animal. She had the front, and the back, and figured out the way to make sides. Then she put the whole thing together–inside out.

How this went from meltdown to Bob pulling out the sewing machine to make her a real stuffed animal, I still don’t know. But he did. And since you can’t make one child a stuffed animal without making the other one a stuffed animal, Andrew got one too. Kyra named her bear Buttons. Andrew named his manatee (we’re calling it a manatee at any rate) Dairy–because it’s a sea cow. The laughs, they never stop around here.

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Dairy and Buttons

Sure signs of spring

Driving home from school last night, a cry rose from the backseat:

Mommy! The Dairy Queen! It’s open, it’s open, it’s open! Can we go? Turn, turn, turn!

Yes, it’s true. Our local, seasonal DQ is open for business. The kids, they want to go. Badly.

And today, instead of boots, I wore my new Chuck Taylor One Stars (in camouflage, of course).

Most explosive

So, Andrew’s car won “most explosive” last night at the “extreme” pinewood derby. One of the nice thing about Boy Scouts is the pinewood derby isn’t quite the ordeal that it was in Cub Scouts (special weigh-ins, lockdowns, etc.). And, if the dads want to participate, they build their own car. It’s pretty much anything goes. One boy decided a banana car would be just the thing (as in wheels on a real banana).

Anyway, during one of the races, the soda can Andrew was using as added weight (anything under two pounds is okay) exploded in a spray of pink tropical twister delight. The older boys made up the last minute category of most explosive, and a good time was had by all, especially Andrew, who looked extraordinarily pleased at being singled out.

In other news, earlier that day, he asked me if I’d every heard of an author who writes scary stories and whose last name is King.

Uh, run that name by me one more time. I’m not sure I recognize it.

So we talked about the prolific Mr. King. I said his stories were very scary and Andrew might want to wait a bit. Andrew likes the idea of being scared by stories more than actually being scared by them. So he’s intrigued. One of his friends is reading a Stephen King book. According to Andrew: “He’s on page four and scared already!”

This is also the friend Andrew and another friend are trying to help be a good student by brainwashing.

“How are you doing that?” I asked.

“We stand next to him and shout: ‘You are a good student!’ So far, it’s working!”

A boon to educators everywhere, no doubt.