A little writing humor

Here’s a joke I thought up in the shower this morning (yeah, brace yourself):

Why is the manuscript cold?
Because it’s a draft!

Oh, I slay me. Seriously, I think this may be a symptom of someone who has been spending far too many hours with a manuscript draft (and in case you’re wondering, that would be me).

I’ve been putting a lot of words into the manuscripts, and not a lot (obviously) here. The bonus: unintentionally funny typos, such as:

If I’d been the sort of girl to crunch on Jason …

Crush. I meant crush, because there is not even a hint of a zombie in our book. Although Jen did suggest a Geek Girl’s Guide to Zombies, but I think we’ll save that for another day.

Unpacking the weekend

Oh, it’s busy here at Chez Tahmaseb.

 Last night, after Kyra’s ballet:

  • Dinner at the Chinese place inside the grocery store (mmm, orange chicken)
  • Target for a birthday present.

Today:

  • Birthday party, a three-hour birthday party.
  • Panera, up the road from birthday party (mmm, Panera). Writing will occur.
  • Boy Scout dinner (mmm, unspecified Boy Scout food) after merit badge weekend (Andrew is earning the crime prevention badge, but I keep referring to it as crime scene investigation–Boy Scouts do a lot, but I don’t think they do that much.)
  • Shopping–Kyra and I have made the executive decision that we need new spring styles.

Sunday:

  • Play with my mom
  • New swim lessons for Kyra, at the same time as the play–still working on how to manage that one
  • Banquet for Andrew’s swim team (mmm, pasta, and why we need those new spring styles)

News of the bookish variety

So … yeah, as Andrew would say. We got the word that The Geek Girl’s Guide to Cheerleading is a finalist in the Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence contest, in the young adult category.

Since I put my home phone (and not my cell) on the contest entry form, the coordinator emailed me to tell us the news. This is maybe just as well, since for a few moments, I forgot how to type. On the phone, I would’ve been all: Dude, no way! (And really, I don’t think you’re supposed to refer to contest coordinators as dude.)

So, when I sent Darcy the news, I asked her for a squee. She saw my squee and raised me a woot.

Anyway, we’re stoked here at Geek Girl central, and check out the other YA finalists:

  • Betraying Season by Marissa Doyle
  • The ABC’s of Kissing Boys by Tina Ferraro
  • Spring Breakup by Stephanie Hale
  • Heartbreak River by Tricia Mills

That’s some fine, fine company to be in. Plus, I first met Tricia when we both were finalists for the Golden Heart waaaay back in 2003. It’s neat that both our debut YA novels are finalists together now.

(Oh, and to my horror, I’ve just done the 2010 – 2003 math. Oy. Apropos to yesterday’s post with Jasper Fforde.)

Jasper Fforde on writing and publishing

This is a great five minute or so interview with Jasper Fforde. He talks about the long haul of writing and publishing. And if you hear a little cheer at the mention of ten years and six and a half manuscripts, that’s just me.

Because … ten years … six manuscripts. Wow. Sounds like someone I know. Wait! I do know her. That’s me.

Enjoy!

In which Miss B says the b-word

So, last night, the kids were squabbling. I wasn’t paying too much attention since it was one of those fights that eventually wears itself out, but apparently it was about which one of them was the bigger tattletale.

At one point, Andrew told Kyra: “You’re a snitch!”
She responded with, “Well, you’re a bitch!”

Cue the sound of brakes squealing. I’m pretty sure Andrew and my facial expressions were mirror images of each other.

“What did you say?” I asked Kyra.

Here’s the thing: She didn’t know and given our shocked reactions, didn’t remember. She was going for the rhyme. She could have easily called Andrew a ditch, or a witch, or some guy named Mitch.

She just went with the letter B.

Now, we’re not lax about language in our house, but we are open about it, at an age-appropriate level. So, naturally, the sort of conversation I have with Andrew about language (and I think it’s important to talk about such things) is much different from the conversation I’d have with poor Miss B.

We had a quick talk about why we don’t use that word. She’s aware of other words we don’t use, but I’m pretty sure this is one she hasn’t heard before, at least not in our house.

Then, very inappropriately, Andrew and I started to laugh. And had a hard time stopping. We probably should’ve left the room, since poor Miss B was so chagrined.

But then we cooked some scrambled eggs and pizza for dinner and all was forgotten.

Still, I’m eternally grateful they weren’t having the sort of conversation where Andrew might have called her a duck.

Once again, Polyvore makes my day

Ever have one of those days when the best thing about the day is that it’s Friday and the end of the work week?

Yeah, that’s been me, pretty much since Wednesday (except then, it wasn’t Friday, which made it all that much worse). Then, through the magic that is our 21st century technology, I was alerted to this:

It’s a Polyvore devoted to Bethany from The Geek Girl’s Guide to Cheerleading. And yeah, my mind boggled a little when I saw it. A thing of beauty and all that.

The little details are amazing and made me smile–like the Lara Croft image, and the T-wolves, and a fantastic cheer uniform, and, and, and … I could go on. Oh, the embedded music (told you I could go on). You’ll have to click through for that.

This is just the cutest thing EVER. I’m all set for the weekend now.

In which I once again reveal my mash-up addiction

I wonder if you have to be a certain age to enjoy this. I thought Andrew (aka classic rock kid) might. He does like Metallica and has Enter Sandman on his iPod. His response when this was done:

“It’s weird.”

I, on the other hand, love it. Love. It.

Not only does the band in question, Rock Sugar, have this mash up, it’s apparently what they do. All mash-ups, all the time. Dude. Even better, they’ve taken Madonna’s Like a Prayer and combined it with AC/DC’s Shook Me All Night Long. Definitive proof Like a Prayer should’ve been a heavy metal song all along.

I tell you, these guys are genius.

So, if you’re of a certain age, enjoy:

With open arms

Just in case you forgot tomorrow is Valentine’s Day:

Oh, sure. I can see it now:

Hey, honey, I ditched the Godiva chocolates this year and got you disembodied arms that talk.

Because nothing says “I love you” like disembodied arms that talk. Is it just me, or is that ten different kinds of creepy?

Seriously, I picture these arms springing to life in the middle of the night while their unsuspecting recipient sleeps in his/her bed. Then, the slow-mo crawl across the floor with its fat Mickey Mouse fingers, up and onto the bed, the recorded message playing on a continuous loop until its meaning becomes tragically ironic.

Yeah. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like that.

Miles to go

I have one thing to say today:

It. Is. Finished!!!!!

Okay, what is actually finished is this round of revisions. Unfortunately, “It is revised!” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I still have miles to go before I sleep–or rather, before it’s ready to go. But I think/hope I have the main restructuring slog out of the way. This is really a “my reach may exceed my grasp” kind of story. So for now, I’ll let The Fine Art of Holding Your Breath compost.

Even with the all the work ahead of me, I can’t help feeling a little bit like this:

This leaves me free to revisit Dating on the Dork Side, which I’m also very excited about. Although, I accidently opened one of its files yesterday. As I told Darcy: it reads like I downed half a bottle of NyQuil before I sat down to write.

So. Miles to go there as well.

Think I’ll go list to Ode to Joy one more time. 

Because really, when you finish any draft of a manuscript, the skies should open, light should pour down, and all the animals of the forest should burst into song.

And the Berlin Philharmonic should personally come to your house.