Tag: Kids

April Fool’s and Mr. Darcy

Yesterday, the marvelous Miss B played the following April Fool’s Day jokes on me:

  • Mommy, I’m stuck in the toilet! (She wasn’t.)
  • There’s a mummy in your closet! (There wasn’t.)
  • There’s a salmon fish on your head! (Again, there wasn’t, but she wouldn’t say, “April Fools!” until I actually reached up and patted my head.)

Then she went and short-sheeted Andrew’s bed.

In other news, Darcy and I may end up the biggest April Fools. Over on the Geek Girl site, we’ve taken on Twilight, in the epic battle of Mr. Darcy versus Edward Cullen. In haiku. I know. We’re living on the edge.

Writing is hard

This was Andrew’s conclusion last night. More precisely, it was: Writing a short story is hard. But he did it.

To cap off the mythology unit in English, his teacher had everyone write their own original myth (emphasis on original–apparently, she’s read many a variation on Harry Potter, Star Wars, and so on).

Andrew came up with: The Adventures of Gulix.

It has prophecy, an orphan hero, a wise old mentor/sage, fiery death, sword battles, skeleton armies, river journey, wolves with diamond teeth (now that’s original), and romance.

All in 1,250 words.

He was proud, but realistic, said to me, “You can tell a kid wrote it, can’t you?”

And I told him it was a really good story for a kid. And he knows to do things I’ve seen many an adult writer not know or understand. His writing has really improved this year (and yes, I’ll be sending his English teacher a thank you note).

Plus, his story contained lots of terrific action verbs. Andrew is all about the verbs. Of course, with all that fiery death, sword battles, how could he not be?

But you want to know about the romance, right? After the epic battle with Hades, Gulix comes to and sees the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen before. He asks her name (it’s Persephone). Apparently satisfied with this answer, he goes back to sleep.

I’m going to have to figure out how to work that scenario into one of my stories (minus all the fiery death and skeleton armies, of course).

Walk for Animals

walk1 Yes, we’ve been busy with projects here at Chez Tahmaseb. We’ve been bagging and baking, and now walking.

Well, actually, Andrew has been doing most of these things.

For thirty five years, our local Animal Humane Society has sponsored the Walk for Animals. Since we adopted Oreo from there last September, Andrew thought this would be a neat way to give back.

Behold! Gratuitous cat photos!

treecat1 oreo3

 Ahem. Anyway, Andrew’s goal is to raise $500.00. If you’d like to help, click the link below.

Andrew’s donation page at Walk for Animals. (Click the Support Andrew button on the page.)

And thanks!

Spies like us

The kids, at long last, have invented a game they both enjoy. For a while, every time they played stuff animals together, epic battles ensued. Andrew wanted conflict, villains, pummeling! And it’s not that Kyra’s scenarios lacked conflict, it’s just more on an interpersonal (or inter-stuffed animal, I guess) level.

The girl-drama bored Andrew; the pummeling frustrated Kyra.

 So now they play spies. How they hit upon this, I’m not sure, but every night (right around bedtime, of course) the spy missions start.

I’m generally their object of spying. Their mission is to get by me, around me, hide from me. How good are they at this?

Not very.

Andrew gets frustrated with Kyra’s lack of subtlety, but this is the boy who thinks if he situates his slippers so they stick out from beneath a lumpy blanket, I’ll think he’s under the blanket.

So, in other words, Pot, Kettle, I’d like you two to meet. You have something in common.

In Geek Girl News, we have a new feature up on the Geek Girl website called You Don’t Have to Wait, where we feature teens who are going after their dreams. And if you know a teen who is pursuing a goal or going after a dream, let us know. We’d love to feature them.

Best. House. Ever.

besthouse

Go on. You know you want a house with a laser tag arena, not to mention a grand BR (for bathroom).  True, there’s no living room, but who needs that when you have a pool with water slides and a lazy river, plus a hot tub and two saunas. And a game room. I think there’s enough “living” going on in this house. You can even play tennis!

Do you like Andrew’s token nod to academics with the homework room on the left there? I asked him about it and he said, “Well, you need someplace to do it.”

I guess so.

The secret ingredient revealed

So this weekend-yesterday, actually-I baked banana bread and chocolate chip cookies. From scratch! I know. I’ll wait while the rest of you pick yourself up off the floor.

Actually, I like baking, as long as it’s not too complicated. Meals I’m pretty meh about. I mean, all that work, and it’s gone within thirty minutes, except for the mess. With baking, you can enjoy your efforts for at least twenty four hours or so, give or take.

Also, I cleared the clutter reorganized the kitchen, which makes it nice to bake in these days.

Miss B was all excited to help me bake cookies. Ever since I baked oatmeal raisin cookies with Andrew (a recipe from his Family and Consumer Science class), she wanted to bake her own cookies.

I was telling her something my mom told me about baking chocolate chip cookies-because cookies, along with 80s pop music, is cross-generational. Instead of butter, use shortening for better texture.

Miss B: What’s shortening?
Me: It’s fat.

A bit later, Bob wandered through and Miss B exclaimed:

Daddy! I know the secret to Mommy’s cookies and I’m not telling anyone at school. It’s a secret recipe and it’s FAT!

Now, doesn’t that sound appealing? I suppose I should be relieved she’s not telling her entire school that the secret ingredient is fat.

Here’s my whole point to this baking and cooking thing: why go all Martha Stuart when you can make your offspring ecstatically happy with a bag of Nestlé’s toll house morsels?

And fat. Don’t want to forget the secret ingredient.

What do you suppose he has in mind?

So after school, Andrew sometimes uses my computer. On the front page of Amazon.com, I found these in the recently viewed items:

  • World Industries Complete Skateboard (4 Styles) by Bravo Sports
  • Mojo Rails Complete Skate Park by Mojo Rails
  • RAMPTECH MICRO 3′ HALFPIPE PLANS by RAMP TECH

I have to mention that the Mojo Rails Complete Skate Park is on sale, for ~ $4,000. A steal. Plus, it qualifies for Amazon Prime. Hey, free shipping! Seriously, they’re practically paying you to get one.

I wonder if this has something to do with the skateboard tournament he said he wanted to host a few weeks back. Being boring and practical, I mentioned things like insurance, liability, massive lawsuits, and so on. He was unmoved.

The real question is why hasn’t he approached Miss B. She would gladly construct a skate park for him out of paper.

That would work, wouldn’t it?

They don’t listen to me either

So, last night I’m in one room, the kids in another. There might have been (nerf) football throwing going on. But it was getting close to bedtime, so I say:

Me: No more rowdy. It’s time to get ready for bed. Play a quiet game.

Kids: Okay!

Andrew (after a barely imperceptible pause): Kyra, throw this at me as hard as you can.

Yeah. Some days it’s like talking to the walls.